March 9, 2006

EA Should Know that Video Is NOT for Email

I have to throw this one into the Worst of Email category today as I can never understand why people try to place video in an email. It just does not work. In recent tests only 4 out of 45 email clients will play or at least render the image. If you MUST add a video to your email try either a rotating image or a static image to get me to see it. (Which of course you can in a web browser after the jump).

Remember that we ALL LOVE video now that we have the bandwidth, but there are still some contraints.

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Comments (0) | Posted by dylan at 9:48 AM | Permalink

December 12, 2005

Don't YELL AT ME IN EMAIL!!!!

Now I like Norm Thompson, but I just don't get the ALL CAPS in the Subject line. It is like they are SHOUTING AT ME TO OPEN THIS EMAIL. And did I? Well only because I like to look at what they did. As a consumer, major turn off. And if you shout, give me something of substance that warrants shouting dammit.

Overall it just does not match up with the brand attributes to shout.

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Comments (0) | Posted by dylan at 8:44 AM | Permalink

July 8, 2005

I Need Your Help with Some Funds

This is a variation of the Nigerian Bank Scam that we have ALL grown so fond of. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy to get emails from stangers that I can helpl. Kind of like Sally Field at 1am asking me to feed the children. It makes me feel like I have spent time with this scam from a little one to a full blown, "Just Insert Name and Event Here" and help me move some money.

The bad thing is sooo many people have fallen for this scam. Poor bastards.

Paul Harden & Co
Swan Centre, Fishers Lane
Chiswick London, W4 1RX. UK.
Email:- harden1@*******.com

Dear Friend,

I am writing you this proposal on behalf of my chambers. I got your information through my personal search for a honest person whom i will work with,hence I decided to seek your veiws if you will work with me, due to the sensitivity of this transaction and my position as a lawyer.

I am Barrister Paul Harden from UK, representing Mr. Martin Greenberg, a foreign, Engineer by profession, who died since 1999, in an Egypt Air crash, on the 31st October along with other passengers on board.

Before his death, he has a huge sum of (US$25.5) which no other person knew about, he intended to invest in Southern part of Africa. This fund has NO other beneficiary and I have the original documents of Deposit/claim certificate to claim the money of w
hich the amount

involved is (US$25.5M) Twenty Five Millions five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars.

The fund is rigth now under the custody of a Security Company, which I will not like to disclose at the moment until I confirm your willingness to assist me in this project.

Early this year, the Security Company sent me a letter, since I was his lawyer, asking me to present his NEXT OF KIN, to enable them release the said funds.

My disire is to be able to source a foreign partner who is honest and trustworthy individual,so that I can present to the Security Company as the NEXT OF KIN of the Late Mr. Greenberg so that the fund can be release to him/her.

If you are willing to assist me in this transaction, your compensation will be (20% ), while I receives (70%) and the balance of (10%) for taxes and other miscellaneous expenses.

This transaction is 100% risk free provided you treat the transaction with utmost secrecy and confidentiality and also with my position as Esquire, I will perfect all the necessary documents on your name as soon as you are ready to do this deal with me.

Endeavour to email me the following information at harden2@******.com

Names, Address, Phone and Fax Numbers, Age, Sex, Marital Status and Occupation.

Thank you and God Bless,

Barrister. Paul Harden
ATTORNEY -AT- LAW

Comments (0) | Posted by dylan at 6:01 PM | Permalink

June 20, 2005

Don't buy her flowers, Give her milk

Now, I'm not a fan of SPAM and never will be, but this subject line really caught my attention. I'm not a lesbian (although I sometimes think about it), but I'm thinking that the milk industry is making a comeback. Flowers, chocolate, Victoria's Secret - that's old news. What you really need to do to get a woman going is head to 7 Eleven and pick up a gallon of milk - the cow hormones apparently get other hormones worked up. The Porn email starts here and continues when you click to read more:

> From: Sonja [mailto:kmjysxbxc@jodypolk.com]
> Subject: **** SPAM **** Don`t buy her flowers, give her milk...

> Increase your xxx VOLUME, and xxx Length
> main benifits:
> - The longest most intense xxx of your life
> - XXX like steel
> - lncreased xxx/desire
> - Stronger xxx(watch where your xxx)
> - Multiple xxx
> - Up to 500% more volume (xxx xxx in it if you want)
> - Studies show it xxx xxx
>
> DISCREET SAME DAY SHIPPING - TRY IT, YOU'LL LOVE IT!
> (and she'll xxx you for it)

The government made me edit this blog entry. Or maybe it was The Man. No, truth be told, it was my parents. Why do we listen to our parents when we don't have to? The weird thing is when you turn into your parents. Oh well - let your imagination run wild with the censored entry above.

Comments (0) | Posted by tanya at 4:45 AM | Permalink